Comments on: 02/28/11 – No Sledding Today

By: christopher

christopher — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 06:09:40 +0000

I don’t know what to say, buy yes yes yes! My readers are thoughtful, caring, awesome people. Thank you. :)

By: War Pig

War Pig — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 20:40:38 +0000

Sure you can listen and explain, and it worked on my two, but when they put on their mule ears, time to just pick them up and go home.

By: AlisonH

AlisonH — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 19:37:11 +0000

What I posted about yesterday… http://spindyeknit.com/2011/02/parental-advisory/ And when they’re a little older, what Harena said: you listen to them, you explain to them. And also, you tell them beforehand what’s expected of them in a forthcoming social situation and they’re much better in how they respond to the unfamiliarity.

By: lee

lee — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 15:38:33 +0000

What Harena said. Once they can hear and understand, they need real reasons.

By: Harena

Harena — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 12:53:10 +0000

And then there’s my youngest who when explained in detail the Why’s and Wherefores (and possibly the Science) of why a rule was being imposed on him, would stop, ponder, and then go “Oh, Okay” and submit. Never Ever, not even once did the “Because I Said So” line work on him as many of his teachers over the years experienced.

Ultimately, it’s about Knowing the Kid involved. Some kids are fine with the Pure Authoritarianism but from the evidence I’ve seen, when kids are allowed some control over the forces in their lives, they grow up with critical thinking skills that causes them to be far more functional adults. [/end of rationalist rant]

By: reynard61

reynard61 — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 09:18:02 +0000

On her sled or under it; either way she’s comin’ home!

By: War Pig

War Pig — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 08:40:19 +0000

Nope. When you’re past that point there is no reasoning, just; “Because I SAID so”. Carry them home by their sled, by the seat of their pants, whatever. Do NOT try to go down to their level as they’ll beat you with experience. Remain the adult, retain the power, be above it all.

I raised my two and two of my sister’s, and hers were a problem because she was ill for a while before she passed, so they had to get used to a new sheriff in town. Don’t hit, don’t bribe, don’t wheedle. Wheedling is for grandparents and does not work between children and parents. Just pick them up and take them home. If they decide to keep it up, put them in bed without the favorite stuffed toy. It is imperative that you not lose your cool over little things like a stubborn spell. Save “losing your mind” and going all R Lee Ermey over really dumb stuff that they knew was really bad before they did it, usually as a teenager. Driving w/out a license, underage drinking, any drug use, smoking, severe curfew violation or out of bounds violation (saying they are going to Sally’s house then her and Sally sneaking out and going to the biker fair two counties over).

If you go nuclear over every little thing it loses its shock value. Save the big guns for the big stuff. I never had to go beyond DEFCON 4 with mine, but hers took me to DFCON 2 several times and to DEFCON 1 on one occasion (the biker fair). My Nieces were a lot of trouble, but they finally turned out okay. Just took a while is all. My kids were older and shook their head when they saw the others going ape. “Y’all better not push dad too far or he’ll go all Full Metal Jacket on you. Word to the wise”. ;-)