Comments on: 04/02/13 – Not Fair http://www.littledee.net/?p=3624 Mon, 06 Jun 2016 05:11:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: War Pig http://www.littledee.net/?p=3624&cpage=1#comment-6946 War Pig Tue, 02 Apr 2013 08:21:05 +0000 http://www.littledee.net/?p=3624#comment-6946 I wonder if that applies more to sudden and unexpected death than natural causes? If you have a relation who is lingering with a disease or especially is quite old, the denial is moot as you're expecting it. When my Aunt Mary passed away, the nursing home called and told me to come back in (I had been to see her that day) as she had lividity. I sat and held her hand and talked to her as she went to sleep, then a coma, then breathed her last. She was quite old. I had no denial, no anger, and I did not try to bargain with God, either. She had gone home to where she had been waiting, eagerly, the last several years to go. Her mom and dad and husband and brother (my dad) had all come to "visit" her (they had already passed so it was their spirits), so I knew it was close. I was happy for her but of course I was sad as I missed her. I was her sole remaining close relative so I had been looking after her in the home and taking her for rides and such when she was well enough, for years. Over the next year Hospice kept sending me letters monthly about dealing with grief, even when I told them I was not grieving in the way they thought. I missed her, but I did not grieve as she was where she wanted to be. Now, I did experience the above stages, in rapid succession, in Viet Nam and elsewhere, but the first one was quite shocking to me, naturally. If you want to know the story I'll email it to you if you email me and give me your addy, unless you want me to post it here. It is a little grim, though. Might help you in writing Space Trawler. I wonder if that applies more to sudden and unexpected death than natural causes? If you have a relation who is lingering with a disease or especially is quite old, the denial is moot as you’re expecting it. When my Aunt Mary passed away, the nursing home called and told me to come back in (I had been to see her that day) as she had lividity. I sat and held her hand and talked to her as she went to sleep, then a coma, then breathed her last. She was quite old. I had no denial, no anger, and I did not try to bargain with God, either. She had gone home to where she had been waiting, eagerly, the last several years to go. Her mom and dad and husband and brother (my dad) had all come to “visit” her (they had already passed so it was their spirits), so I knew it was close.

I was happy for her but of course I was sad as I missed her. I was her sole remaining close relative so I had been looking after her in the home and taking her for rides and such when she was well enough, for years. Over the next year Hospice kept sending me letters monthly about dealing with grief, even when I told them I was not grieving in the way they thought. I missed her, but I did not grieve as she was where she wanted to be.

Now, I did experience the above stages, in rapid succession, in Viet Nam and elsewhere, but the first one was quite shocking to me, naturally. If you want to know the story I’ll email it to you if you email me and give me your addy, unless you want me to post it here. It is a little grim, though. Might help you in writing Space Trawler.

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