If I had a fish, that fish would be SO bored with my talking to it.
“Hello, fishie. Isn’t it nice out today? Don’t you like your pretty little trees? I just played racquetball again. I wish you could play with me, but you can’t. You’re a fish.”
I love jokes like this, that write themselves. I originally had him hitting Blake with a snow shovel because the thin light metal has a good “twang” noise to it. And then I was thinking, well, Ted would take it away from him (for using it meanly) — and it occurred to me that nobody really WANTS a snow shovel, they merely NEED them to do grueling work, so it would be pleasurable to give it up.
Ah, i adore writing.