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I find that often in life I have desires or opinions or emotions which conflict. What’s hard to see in the moment is that it’s natural, it means that you have varied desires. The simplest version is this: a baby in a burning house. You want to jump in and save it, but you also don’t wish to leap into flames, breathe smoke, and be burned. Both are very reasonable.
What matters, in the end, is your action. In Ted’s case, he should have a sandwich.
But with that thought in mind, maybe NOT a barbecued pork sandwich!
Our sympathies to all who have lost loved ones in this season, when we especially insist on cheer; grief is hard to reconcile with those around you, but keep in mind, it’s a socialogical setup! Grief is OK; know that it willl resolve and fade with time. A blessing that human memory is selective, and the good memories stay longer.