I think what Ted is missing is that with a fish you don’t have to keep buying cartons of milk and crayons.

See how small Blake’s nose is! And his snout! So long!

↓ Transcript
Hey, Ted, what's with the kid?
I found her, Blake. Figured I might hold onto her until I could locate her parents.
A kid's a lot of responsibility. Are you sure you're up for it?
What could go wrong?
I'm going to have nightmares for weeks just thinking of the possibilities.
I used to have a fish. i did pretty well with him.